Don't Shark People!#
Yesterday, I did something big, it was amazing.
The conclusion I want to share with everyone is: Don't shark people, whether it's premeditated or impulsive, don't shark people!
Those who have sharked people know that sharking is easy, but disposing of the shark's body and handling the scene is even harder.
Here's what happened: the range hood in the house I rented hadn't been cleaned for a long time, and it was covered in grease. The normal procedure would be to ask the landlord to send someone to clean it, but as a person who dislikes unnecessary social events, I didn't want to add another one for no reason. Besides, I don't cook much, so I kept putting it off.
Recently, the range hood reached its limit. It has a small container to collect the oil dripping from the range hood. Now it's full, to the point where it drips down every day. I had been ignoring it, allowing the situation to develop.
Because of work, I hadn't been to the kitchen for a while. Yesterday, I felt inspired and decided to enjoy my cooking skills after ordering from Hema. When I entered the kitchen and saw my pot, oh my god, there was almost 2cm of oil inside.
I was furious, I didn't care about anything else, I had to clean this oil container today.
At first, I wore gloves and carefully turned the oil container. The greasy and slippery feeling was hard to describe. The light from my flashlight reflected off the kitchen knife, and the words "The Cleaner" popped into my mind.
New Year's Eve, 1999, New York. Four professional cleaners responsible for cleaning up after the mafia gathered together by chance. They drank and reminisced about the past. Gradually, their stories began to contradict each other, and the ugly truth behind them gradually emerged...
There was no fan in the kitchen, and the cold air from the air conditioner didn't seem to blow in for some reason. Sweat gradually emerged like bamboo shoots, and I was still turning this small oil container. There was one thing I had to pay special attention to: it was full, so once it was separated from the main body of the range hood, I had to ensure its balance, otherwise the oil would leak everywhere.
I don't know how long it took, but I finally took it down. Carefully, like a bomb disposal expert in a movie, I had to be extremely cautious. If I tilted it even a little, the bomb would explode. I just had to tilt it a little, and the oil would flow everywhere, so I had to slowly pour it into a plastic bag.
It had the smell of camellia oil, but we never use camellia oil at home.
——Memories of grilling meat afterwards
Pouring the oil had to be done with the coldness of an assassin, otherwise my mentality would easily collapse. My hands couldn't shake, my mentality couldn't be rushed, and my breath had to be steady, just like when I was a mercenary in West Africa.
Pouring the oil was actually quite fast, but I was already covered in sweat. The next step was to clean the container, and this was the real nightmare. The gloves were already covered in oil, and when I turned on the faucet, the faucet was also covered in oil; when I squeezed the dishwashing liquid, the dishwashing liquid was also covered in oil. At this point, everything I touched was oily, including the bag I used to hold the oil, which was now covered in oil as well.
Being as calm as I am, I immediately decided to take off the gloves and use my bare hands.
Here, I kindly remind everyone that if you haven't been a mercenary in West Africa like me and don't possess an iron will, please! Don't attempt this high-risk behavior! This behavior will cause irreversible damage to your sanity!!!
Even with a strong will like mine, I briefly lost consciousness after coming into contact with that layer of grease. I cleaned everything instinctively, but I can't remember the specifics of how I cleaned it...
I only remember regaining consciousness and frantically scrubbing my hands, feeling like they could never be clean...
So, don't shark people! It's better to self-shark than to shark others!